Press Releases
02/07/26: For Immediate Release
From the Coercion Division
From the Coercion Division
SANDWICH to launch hellish assault on Universe
SANDWICH declared war on the sleazy tabloid "newspaper," The International Universe, at a special news event today. [MORE]
02/07/10: For Immediate Release
From the Division
From the Division
SANDWICH Sells Phrase To Octuple AAAAAAAA
Marketing slogan fetches undisclosed, but 'ludicrously large" amount. [MORE]
02/07/08: For Immediate Release
From the General Division
From the General Division
SANDWICH Questions Name
Willingness To Scrutinize Own Purpose is Organization's "Greatest Strength" [MORE]
02/06/26: For Immediate Release
From the General Division
From the General Division
Deception and Coercion Divisions to Collaborate on Several New Initiatives
Lucy Fairfax and Reptilior, announced a more "goal-oriented, cooperative and proactive" approach to some of SANDWICH's high-profile business ventures. [MORE]
02/06/14: For Immediate Release
From the General Division
From the General Division
SANDWICH Challenges Superheroes, Superagents
SANDWICH today challenged superheroes and superagents to "try and stop us." [MORE]
02/05/17: For Immediate Release
From the Deception Division
From the Deception Division
SANDWICH countersues Killrape Corporation
After legal consultation, SANDWICH has responded to Killrape's trademark infringement suit with a trademark infringement suit. [MORE]
02/04/11: For Immediate Release
From the General Division
From the General Division
Fairfax to meet with Carnivore Branding
Marketing kingpin said to be interested. [MORE]
02/03/22: For Immediate Release
From the Witchcraft Division
From the Witchcraft Division
WITCHCRAFT TO LOBBY HOLLWOOD
The Witchcraft Department is currently lobbying to host a post-Oscars luncheon [MORE]
02/03/19: For Immediate Release
From the Infanticide Division
From the Infanticide Division
Clown Ninja Program a Success
SANDWICH, in association with the International Clown League (ICL), is pleased to announce a new program, the SANDWICH Clown Attack Initiative. [MORE]