The following are some of the dynamic personalities who make S.A.N.D.W.I.C.H. one of the most exciting and rewarding places to work today.

CEO: Maximillian T. Grendel
Head, Narcotics division: Don Tony "the Throat" Calabrese
Head, Deception division: Lucy Fairfax
Head, Witchcraft division: Cipro
Head, Infanticide division: The Ageless Baby
Head, Coercion division: Reptilior
Head, Hatred division: Harold bin Sampson

Maximillian T. Grendel

Dr. Grendel was born in Argentina in 1946 and quickly blossomed into an ingenious, fastidious and exceptionally cruel young man. As a youth, he volunteered with various Argentinian paramilitary groups. He found himself heading up the Argentinian secret service, but soon tired of the narrow worldview of his colleagues and yearned for an assignment with international breadth. After his invention of the Grendel Satellite Death Chair earned him infamy, Grendel vanished into the shadows of international crime. He emerged again in the mid eighties, riding a wave of savage and unnecessary bloodshed to become head of S.A.N.D.W.I.C.H., a position he has held onto thanks to his quick wits, iron fist and intimidatingly shiny bald head.

Don Tony "the Throat" Calabrese

Best known as the head of the notorious Calabrese crime family, Don Tony earned his "Throat" moniker via prolific use of the "Columbian Necktie" murder technique. Mr. Calabrese's work style combines baffling violence with shrewd, street-savvy business instincts. Under Mr. Calabrese's leadership, the S.A.N.D.W.I.C.H. Narcotics division has enjoyed a massive growth in market share.

Lucy Fairfax

Ms. Fairfax is, without a doubt, the world's pre-eminent PR and communications specialist. Having worked for 14 different Fortune 500 corporations, Ms. Fairfax now hopes to improve the standing of S.A.N.D.W.I.C.H. upon the world stage and in the court of public opinion.


What do you get when you combine a Bohemian butcher with a Hungarian playwright? Answer, a classical European Warlock with Ancient secrets and magic who understands modern culture. Cipro grew up in old-world Eastern Europe and is said to be gifted with a blessed bloodline. He was trained by the most mysterious of witches and warlocks. Cipro, with his amazingly contemporary sensibility, has brought his Ancient talents to the corporate world of the West and most recently to Hollywood. Cipro has consulted with many psychic organizations and has served as technical adviser on many Hollywood films. He holds dual residence in both Czech Republic and Santa Monica.

The Ageless Baby

Little is known about this shadowy infant. Though he is reported to be over 500 years old.


Fiendish, ageless Reptilior slithered out of a Polynesian swamp in the 1950s, a mutated byproduct of nuclear testing. Reptilior understands only brutality and sadism. A highly motivated gentleman with a strong work ethic, when he can find the time Reptilior plays halfback for his local Mayan Ball team, and enjoys working with animals.

Harold bin Sampson

A native of Peru, Indiana, bin Sampson embraced Islam at an early age. A perennial outsider, he knows what it is like to be hated -- and to hate in return. He caught the eye of S.A.N.D.W.I.C.H. talent scouts when he invented a superior nailgun, and quickly impressed higher-ups in the organization with his unwavering prejudices and cooking skill. His Roast Butt of Beef with Potato Chips and Jell-O is well-loved at S.A.N.D.W.I.C.H. headquarters.