PUBLISHING INDUSTRY, GOVERNMENT AGENCIES IMPLICATED IN SQUIRREL DEATH

October 22, 2002 02:17 AM

East Richmond, MI: "Stinky Poo" Pilaff, the inspiration for, and 'co-author' of the Detective Squirrel Reporting for Duty mystery series, was found crushed to death in the driveway of his owner, author Nora Alonzo Pilaff.

"I'm devastated." said Ms. Pilaff, author of several Detective Squirrel mysteries for publisher Gunt & Lungfinch. "Not only have I lost a beloved friend, the whole world lost its first and only rodent storyteller."

Ms. Pilaff has gone on the record saying that she believes many people in the publishing industry disliked Stinky Poo. She singled out Wayne Laperriere, author of the once popular Eagle & Ferret crime-solving pet novellas.
"That miserable hack has hated Stinky Poo and I since we got that two book deal from G&L last March."

For reasons that remain unclear, Ms. Pilaff also accuses the CIA, the United States Postal Service, the IRS and the Michigan Dairy Board of being involved in a vast conspiracy to destroy her livelihood. "They have blood on their hands," she said.

Constable Mitch Floeckis of the East Richmond police department was the first law enforcement officer on the murder scene.

"This is not a murder scene", said Constable Floeckis. "First of all, its a dead squirrel- and there's an obvious trail of blood from the body to the rear tire on this lady's Corolla."

"I think he may have been poisoned", added Ms. Pilaff. No arrests have been made thus far.